Shelly's Diary

S h e l l Y

Hidden Thought

jokes

Monday, July 06, 2009

It's been a long time

I feel myself being myself

It was something that i realised when I went a trip in Germany

As you know

I had always been quiet

not very humourous person

only talk necessarily

But that day seemed very different

It's like I am out of my mind

I feel so free and forget about shame and pride

And I started to joke with people whom I just got to know

As far as I remembered

I am very good at sarcism jokes

But I trained myself to stop it long ago

because there were once when others do sarcism jokes

I was hurt and sad

and it made me think alot

On that day,

I was meant to make it as a joke

but it turn out to be really mean joke

I said something like

'how come a baloon carrying the bicycle?'

and it was to a girl

oh.. i was so embarassed the moment I said it

and I regret to say it

ah.. thats why I should learn how to do better jokes

1 comments

delight me from my frustration

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Labels: inspiration, picture

2 comments

How long more should I wait for this..

Monday, June 01, 2009

0 comments

Painful Essay

I had a big blow 3 days ago

When i received a hard advice from one of the prof

Maybe, you wont find such comment from asian prof

maybe, I am just too stupid to be in his class

Of course, I know

I am not up to the master student standard

but i tried to work it out my best

and yet.. he make it sound i am a total failure

i guess its normal for me to get angry

when I read on his comment

he seemed to look very nice person

but who would expect such harsh words from him

i am angry cause he make me embarrass

i am angry for making me realised my incapabality

i am angry that my hard work being turn like trash

i am definately angry because my study time for exam is screwed

i am so angry for my failure and pressure he made

phew..............

nah, i dont blamed him anymore,

at least now not anymore,

even if I did fail,

I already tried my best

nope

I gave my best

Honestly,

I dont understand anything at all when i attended his class,

I tried very hard to listen, but i end up getting no where

he would keep on talking and talking and other seemed to understand

even when they asked questions, I didnt even understand what was the question

and yes, they speak english,

and is not that difficult english that they use to make it hard to understand

but the meaning, the words they use, is all in physcological meaning

come on.......

I tell you how interesting my module in Bern

This is just one of them

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good news is...........

I pass the essay on my second try!

OMG I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY!!!

I was so scared to check the email because tomorrow is my exam.

If I failed, I will surely be quite sad and depress.......

I am sure this is God's way~

Thank God for your generousity..

2 down. 3 more to go

1 comments

Pursue own happiness

Sunday, May 31, 2009

grief would not end

unless I decide to take a step forward

the misery eat my life

rotten with my dry bone

life is a gift

happiness is priceless

while my road is still long

its never too late to start anew

when the world is to dark

remember it is just the beginning

while I am searching

there is a light waiting to be found

no more running

but face it with courage

the old chain will rust

the old memory will be gold

No matter how sharp the stone is

Or how painful it is

it is never be too painful

than regret itself

to myself

Labels: sentimental

0 comments

Worried for nothing

Friday, May 22, 2009

It was really weird yesterday.

I couldnt sleep even though it was 3 am,

and I obviously very tired.

My heart beat so fast

and everytime I was going to fall asleep

my heart ache and all my vein hurt my body.

I am no exegerating here..

I couldnt understand what is happened to me.

Finally I got to sleep when I saw a glimps of a sun.

and it was 7 am.

When I woke up, it was almost 11 oclock.

I went to kitchen and have my lunch.

My mom called and I called Debby,

so my lunch were accompanied by 2 of them on the phone.

Innitially I brought the notes to kitchen to do some reading

but obviously it didnt improved my study.

When I went back to my room,

I really really want to study.

But my mind cannot settle down

and I felt the same as last night.

I feel very uneasy and very very uncomfortable.

So I decided to go for jogging.

First time in my life to do such thing.

I was so desperate to calm myself so that I could study.

At night with bbq with floormate,

I feel more settle and easy because

I dont think of anything and everything is so new

knowing them, talking and enjoying the food.

For that moment, I feel so good.

I didnt realise until I went back to my room.

I hope tonight I can sleep well.

Good night.

0 comments

Awesome April

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

I had never travelled this much in my life,

but yeah, I did it this time.

And maybe, a little too much and I am overwhelm

with the beauty of the what I never known.

I have uploaded all picture in my facebook,

so I would just post what I think is nice in here.

Starting from France, Nice.

Beautiful Beach & Open Sea..

Followed by Cannes

Monaco

On the easter break,

which is 1 week,

I went to 'eastern europe'

which consist of Czech Republic, Hungary, Austria

So here it began

...

Prague

Budapest

Vienna

Salzburg

Continue for the holidaying

to my most wanted to go country

ITALY!

Rome

Florence

Venezia

Milan

Labels: holiday

2 comments

I love this! Enjoy

Taylor Swift: Love Story

Lyrics | Taylor Swift Lyrics | Love Story Lyrics

Labels: song

1 comments

Girls Night

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Nah,

Alot of things happen today

Emotionally shock

I was in devastating emotion when taking with my cousin

Looking at her situation make me feel so helpless

and the worse part, I cant help much in anything

How I wish I can do something to lessen her burden

while in the mid of taking to her..

Someone knocking my door harshly,

I rushed to open the door

It was my friend, who cry badly and she hugged me immediately

I was stunt and speechless for a moment

So what on earth going on?

Then she told me she quarrel with her boyfriend

And she started pouring all her emotion

Till she finally feel better and decided to return to her room

I closed the door

And feeling a little exhausted too by the things happen

Before even I put my butt on my chair,

a ring from my friend,

I picked up, and said, can i come to your place?

In the moment like this,

honestly I feel like being alone

But of course I would say "yeah, just come!"

So 4 of girls

ended up talking nonsense

and bitching about our easter trip

while enjoying the sangria my friend brought from spain

and of course the lovely notebook

is so sweet

I always love it

Labels: sentimental

2 comments

The basic of all needs. love

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I have a friend who were sick

Lets called it 'C'

I was supposed to finish our assignment

it need to be submitted on those day

On the x day, C said she was very sick

so unabled to do anything

and I needed to complete it by myself and submit it

I was quite frustrated as C haven't done anything on her part

I tried to calm down and finished the assignment by myself

Though a little angry, I was considering should I cooked for her

as she said she was vomitting and she is bad at cooking

I took quite sometimes to think about it

whether I should or not, cook for her..

Although I end up cooking for her

It makes me realise something about myself

I began to question myself

When did I start to be so calculative in what I do..

Its like,.. why do I bother to cook for her

I have nothing in gain

I feel myself very pathetic and pity

for being such calculative and insincere for that thought

I wish I could be more sincere in what I do

I can give u thousand of excuse of why I become like that such as:

- Business student were taught always think of "What is in for me?"

- Being protective over myself, if I did something to someone, my small heart always hope the person will treat me the same way, but most of the time it didnt turn out that way.

- etc etc

But the basic of all

maybe I should learn to love other more than myself

I has been very overprotective toward myself for long

For not to be hurt, not to be scar

But in return I lost alot

to experience something

C saw me today and said thank you for my help the other time

She gave me little present as her gratitude

It wasnt what she gave me that move me

But the feeling of me able to help someone

I miss those feeling

Remind me to be sincere

remind me to be brave

as my journey is long and rocky

but love from others keep me move on

Thus

the basic of all need

love

itself

Labels: little thought

0 comments